The deadline to file your taxes is come and gone, but if you have completed all of your tax preparation or still need to file, you may be sick of hearing about it. However, there have been many who have come before you who have felt the same way. We decided to share a few of their words of wisdom below.
1. “Render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s”
The Bible, Matthew 22:21
This little quote has been a favorite of politicians and tax collectors over the years to motivate Christians into dutifully paying their taxes. However, those who get biblical about taxes should also read:
2. “From whom do the kings of the earth collect duty and taxes—from their own children or from others?”
The Bible, Matthew 17:25
Jesus asked this of Peter, who replied, ““From others,” Peter answered. “Then the children are exempt,” Jesus said to him. “But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours.”
Whether this means “pay your taxes by any means necessary” or “the tax of two people should be payable in one coin” is up to the reader.
3. “Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”
Benjamin Franklin, in a letter to Jean-Baptiste Leroy, 1789
This famous quote has lasted through the years because the only certainty in life is that it ends and politicians will look to collect on what you buy and sell.
5. “The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.”
Ronald Reagan, President of the United States from 1982 to 1990.
Only “The Gipper” could put taxes, regulations, and subsidies all in one place so eloquently, succinctly, and accurately.
6. “What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.”
Mark Twain, aka Samuel Clemens, writer, born 1835 and died in 1910.
Who says old jokes can’t be funny?
7. “Many of you are well enough off that the tax cuts may have helped you. We’re saying that for America to get back on track, we’re probably going to cut that short and not give it to you. We’re going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good.”
Hillary Clinton, former First Lady, U.S. Senator, Secretary of State, and Presidential Candidate
The liberal point of view on taxes, i.e. richer pay more, poorer pay less, middle class probably gets stuck with what the rich get out of paying, and we use it all for the common good. But for an opposing view:
8. “We don’t need new taxes. We need new taxpayers, people that are gainfully employed, making money and paying into the tax system. And then we need a government that has the discipline to take that additional revenue and use it to pay down the debt and never grow it again.”
Marco Rubio, U.S. Senator and Presidential Candidate
Ah, the age old question: what should taxes be used for? Or a better question: what do you want your tax dollars to do?
9. “We don’t seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?”
Will Rogers, actor and social commentator, born in 1879 and died in 1935.
A wonderful solution to two problems.
10. “To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.”
Thomas Jefferson, Third President of the United States, born in 1743 and died in 1826.
Ah, the founding fathers. If only the current “fathers” would take a page.
More Funny Tax Preparation Quotes
For even more tax related hilarity, visit here for Goodreads section on tax quotes from great books.
Tax Preparation Services in Houston
And if you are in need of expert tax preparation services in Houston or the surrounding area, please contact me.